Oh Dear x 2

Oh Dear x 1: My new band has it's third gig (with me...they've been going quite a while without me...). Our celllist/percussionist/singer can't make it so we're playing it as a five-piece (with synths, multiple singers, guitar, bass, percussion....and two drummers.). We're playing at the Water Rats. We're on at 7.30pm. Our soundcheck finishes at 7.20pm. At 7.25pm the promoters are hustling us back on stage. But where is our second drummer and our singer? Gone walkies....It's up to us...play without them or don't play. So we think...hmmmm...we'll start with a kinda droney/improv style song and they'll come running up and join in! So off we go...but they are still missing and not in action anywhere to be heard. At least half of the songs are started by the other drummer so I'm a bit confuddle-ated but I do my best looking at the ceiling. As we carry our equipment off stage the drummer and singer return. What happened to you? we ask. We didn't think 7.30 MEANT 7.30 they say. um. But it was still quite fun. band is here. Myspace.com/nowtheband
Oh Dear x 2: I got made redundant. Well - my place of work PROPOSED I got made redundant. But I have a feeling this is going to amount to the same thing. Oh dear. Look out for me outside Starbucks with a rat chewed polystyrene cup asking for change any day now...Or maybe as the next Mayor of London. One or the other.

The Boys

are an old-school punk band who're playing another 'this is the last time' type show at ULU in London. I only know 2 Boys songs (brickfield nights and the first time actually...that i remember) and a Yobs album but have heard Good Things about the rest of their songs so
am giving it a go.
When we first get to ULU it's a bit empty and a band called Mybe are trying their best to a shuffling few who won't go anywhere withing 10 foot of the stage... I like them best when they're talking and joking around but it must be hard to get any sort of atmosphere going in a perky punky style with the rather sombre face the audience has turned towards them.
By the time The Boys come quite a few more people have dragged their manky jeaned arses to the venue and are looking (crikey!) quite enthusiastic!
Hurray! It's great! There are wee teens in the audience lurching about, some euro-punks, the occasional crusty punk with a mohican with a big bald spot in the middle and one chap celebrating this 71st birthday. so quite a mix. But a really nice happy one helping the band sing all the choruses, carefully picking up slipping pogo-ers when a sloppy cider precipitates a potential casualty and generally playing lets work up the good atmosphere.
And yes they do have lots of good songs.

Glam Chops mini-tour. Bringing the glam to the provinces

or bringing chaps in flares, platform boots and face-paint to Cardiff, Bath and London.

And did i mention the dancing girls?

Glam Chops are a stage-full of catsuit wearing 'hey'-ing chaps stomp-rocking their glitter-pop hearts out with the accompaniement of all-girl dance-troupe The Panther Girls in shiny tights and high kicks. It's kinda silly but then what glam band wasn't?
In Cardiff GC are warned to take their face-paint off before they hit the town - Cardiff doesn't like that sort of thing apparently (well not outside the confines of the venue anyway) - Cardiff is full of the nicest but also the maddest people. It's sort of like bedlam but only for insane cutie-pop fans.
In Bath Eddie Chop is born across the dance-floor by enthusiastic glam fans (until they drop him on his arse cos they are indie weedlings too). Glam Chops also record their extra-special version of Born In The USA sadly no longer called Born In The UK Hey due to Brucie baby not being a fan of having his lyrics messed with. The Big Wet. More on the prog-glam epic Tarzan's glam-rock adventure later.
In London it's another Guided Missile special with almost a deliberately mentalist bill featuring non-funny funny-man Ted Chippington, Brighton electro-slinky favourites Shrag and of course GC again.
A Panther Girl has persuaded Arec Chop that the best face paint for him will be a big dinner plate supplemented by knife and fork on his forehead. It does look rather special!
See underexposed.org.uk for some top photos!

Two weddings and an onstage funeral of song

Sorry - this post is all about me.
First Wedding: Two of Debbie 'banjo' Smith's friends are getting married and they have chosen their wedding band - lo! It shall be The Nuns! The all-girl Monks tribute band I play guitar for...We decide to go all-white rather than our usual all-black garb for the special occasion. Not sure how suitable Nuns hits such as 'I Hate You' and songs about Vietman and constipation are to a wedding but the bride and groom are happy if not their more sedate relatives. It's good to be educational though I think. And there was LOTS of cake!
Second Wedding: Somehow (through saying 'yes' too much without thinking) I am playing in a wedding band put together as a special one-off for the wedding of a sister of a friend. We drive miles and miles and miles out to the middle of nowhere. really really really nowhere....we are in a caravan park. Fine - we can play in a caravan park. But no....we are still lost....soon we find our real destination. The poshest stately home ever with croquet all set up ready to play on the lawn, chandeliers bigger than my living room and plenty of staff who keep bringing bottles of wine, cake, icecream, cake, weird food, cake....Our band finally get to the venue half an hour before stage time. Did i mention that we've never all met and played together before? 29 minutes before stage time and i am fizzy with panic, stressing over the fact that the laidback guitarist has just decided to change the key of one of the songs and we still haven't decided how many verses to do of other songs.
EVentually we are playing. I am pushing as hard as I can for an out of body experience so I can be somewhere else....but! people are dancing! people like it! blimey! even really old people like it and are twisting and doing proper old-people dancing to Beatles and Monkees and Chiffons songs! I have decided I really like posh people.
Onstage Funeral: My newest band 'Now' have been booked to play Skill Wizard club night at Old Blue Last. We are kinda gentle kraut-pop drone mantra double-drummered synth and percussion joys. I wasn't really sure we were a Skill Wizard band when they booked us...but let's give it a go...and go they do...the audience that is....Oh dear. Sometimes it's good being a drummer cos you get to hide at the back.